It takes a special kind of someone to truly be a hateful little fuck-stain. In a world where everyone is a victim, to be the best of the best you really need to up the game of hate. If you truly wish to make a dent in the world and drag as many people down into the depths of fuckery with you, it takes more than just a bit of self-loathing to get the job done.
What you need here, is a strategy. And with the right strategy, you can de-rail the shit out of just about anyone who thinks they can do something brilliant with this world. When you do the work, and really put some effort into learning the Art of Being A Hater, it is only then that you’ll maybe, just maybe, be able to fill that void of emptiness.
Okay – You will never actually fill that void by dragging other people down, but maybe you’ll be an anomaly? Probably not, but fuck it!
So why be a hater?
Well, because fuck that Guy with the hot Girl. Fuck that successful Guy making all that positive change in the world, and being rewarded with money for it. Fuck that Girl (who wasn’t a good fit for you anyway) for rejecting you and making you choose to feel like shit.
Jealousy. Feelings of unworthiness. Pain. Uncomfortable emotions. All these things that are easy to avoid by simply being a piece of shit. And what a way to make you feel better about being said piece of shit than by making everyone else around you one, too.
So to be an ALL-TIME Professional Hater, you need a strategy. But you also need the right psychology if you want to go PRO. You’re going to get the strategy in just a little while, but first, we’re going to focus on the psychology. Yes, the mindset of a hater counts for a lot more than what you think.
Tony Robbins is (among a myriad of other successful things) an entrepreneur, best-selling author, philanthropist (He matched funds to feed 100 Million people in 2015 – that asshole), and is the Man on Netflix’s “I am Not Your Guru.” He once said:
“Success is 80% Psychology, 20% Strategy”
Now, I know you’re probably fucked off with the motivational-styled quote (Yesss… feel the hatred), but just push those negative emotions back down because we can use it all on the journey to being a true hater.
To really make someone question their entire life, as a hater, it helps to have some psychological issues going on. In fact, if you took note of the above quote, being completely fucked in the head will get you 80% of the way there. So listen up and take notes, because these next few points are extremely important.
THE MINDSET OF A HATER.
To really have the upper hand in the stakes of hate, it helps to have a really fucked upbringing. The more painful, the better – as you can use it as ammo.
Maybe Daddy was an alcoholic who beat you, Mummy was an overbearing, wicked, mole, or your uncle used to touch you on the pee-pee. Whatever unresolved painful situations occurred, you’re going to get bonus points for a shitty childhood. Maybe Mummy was a junkie who used to bring random Men home to sleep with for cash?
The exact situations aren’t all that important here, what’s more important is that there is something painful enough for you to not want to deal with it, but still have to drag it around like a giant anchor.
What you get from these horrific experiences is the feeling that you’ll never be enough, because you were never loved in the most precious and important time of your life.
Don’t have anything traumatic to use as ammo? Not to fret, you can still make the A-Grade of haters even with a less-traumatic upbringing.
Were Mum and Dad rich, but never present? Maybe Mummy never bought you the brand new iPhone every time it came out because she was busy at work? Or perhaps Daddy didn’t get you a brand new car when you got your licence straight away because he was overseas making a multi-million dollar deal? Perhaps you’re bored of the silver platter, and with no parent’s around to love you, you decided to get love and attention in other ways. Being fed by a maid with a silver spoon can also manufacture a hateful little fucker, so don’t quit and start handing out meaningful compliments just yet.
Emotionally absent parents are phenomenal at creating haters. I mean, if they didn’t love you, who the fuck else will?
- Have a Girl break your heart into little pieces. (2 or more works well).
- Have a tiny penis, a rude head, or something else that you’re insecure about.
- Be teased as a kid about something small, yet significant to you.
- Have a teacher tell you that you’ll never amount to anything.
Childhood trauma will give you the upper hand in painting hatred all over the world, like motherfuckin’ Picasso dressed as a Sith.
LOSE ALL HOPE.
You can’t fuck with anyone’s chi with just a traumatic childhood. That stuff can be worked on and released with a trained professional on a Government handout. What you really need, is to have your hopes crushed like a piece-of-shit car.
Maybe, once upon a time, you aspired to be a great person in the world. You had dreams to build a great business and serve the world, then use the profits to fund a charity that means something to you – all while giving you and your perfect family the life most people dream of.
But then, about 3 seconds after having the dream – it got hard. Like, you just “can’t even” kind of hard.
This happens quite a few times, and after over 7 times of trying to do something different without it being uncomfortable, you give up and lose all hope for a life you dreamed about.
You see, hope is a little motherfucker when it comes to being a hater. You have to have lost all hope for humanity and your dreams, to truly make a dent in the world. You’re a precious little princess, and it’s easier for you to stomp your feet like a naughty 2-year-old than brush up against the uncomfortable truths of carving out a good life.
- Set some Goals, then fail miserably at it no more than 1 time.
- Think that successful people are lucky.
- Instead of doing what you should, have a wank instead.
IGNORANCE WORKS WONDERS.
Having extremely limited experiences of life will help you go pro. There really is nothing quite like a hater who doesn’t have a fucking clue what they’re on about. Someone with a sound argument can’t beat a brick wall, so becoming a brick wall is an absolute must if you wish to be the sole reason for the destruction of humanity. Think about it: You will be undefeated in the Colosseum of hatred. Like a modern day keyboard punching Gladiator, who cares not for the entertainment of the crowd, but rather the taste of blood of his enemies.
Ignorance is based on experiences (or lack thereof). What helps here is that you’ve never travelled far from home. The perfect situation here is that you would want to have never travelled abroad, or ONLY gone overseas where all the other pieces of shit congregate – such as Kuta (in Bali) or Cancun (only during spring break). You will most certainly lose hope for humanity there, while also being able to find other rookie/virgin travelers where you can complain about how shit the place is, how everything is better back home, while also acting like a badly behaved and entitled piece of shit (WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T SPEAK FUCKIN’ ENGLISH??)
Lack of travel is a must. If you’ve been locked in your basement for most of your life you’ll win this race to the bottom.
Having a biased and small world view is bred from… well… having a small world. The more you travel and experience, the bigger it gets. This brings more knowledge and is absolute poison for an aspiring hater.
- Grow up in a small town or a shithole. Assume everywhere is the same, and your way is the only way.
- Ignore any opportunity that might stretch the comfort zone.
- Loudly proclaim that your country is “number 1”, even though you have nothing to actually compare it to.
FEED YOUR BODY AND MIND WITH UTTER SHIT.
Alright, now we have removed all chances of you growing your mind with anything that will be beneficial to a successful life (Haha – whatever that is, fuckin’ NERDS!) It’s now time to fuel a hater with as much junk as possible.
Obviously, it helps if you are a fat piece of shit. What a way to forget about all that childhood trauma than to cover it up with fast food, energy drinks and booze. Do whatever you can to create a body that you are disgusted with, to fuel your hatred and self-loathing even more. This is easy to do, and most of you rookie haters probably already have this sorted. So here, have another cookie.
Now that your body isn’t going to be functioning all that well, your brain will open up to more junk.
As a hater, you must be selectively biased on certain topics. Some absolute musts are conspiracy theories such as Big Pharma, Vaccines, Cancer Cures, Illuminati, 9/11, JFK, Roswell and of course – Tupac. Hating on the Government and thinking that they are conspiring to control your mind with “chemtrails” and putting fluoride in the water supply will give you extra points here.
When doing “research”, ensure that you only look for resources that you “feel” are credible, and be sure to use your list of inbuilt cognitive biases as much as possible to support your motive. The Confirmation Bias is your best friend here.
When you are tired from all of your internet research, have some more cookies and a litre of Redbull, then turn on the TV.
There is no better way to become dumber err… an “empowered hater” than to watch TV. Make sure you fill your busy schedule with TV shows that won’t help you get anywhere in life. Examples are shows such as The Kardashians, Geordie Shore, Jerry Springer and The View – Basically, anything that is going to help you continue to lose hope for humanity.
The last element for complete and utter idiocy is watching the News (or any “current affair” program). The News will easily help you lose more hope for humanity. It’ll make you scared about the apparent threat of terrorism, people taking other people’s jobs, and little kids being hunted by Paedophiles. Add in the constant murders, the rich getting richer, the poor getting poorer, disadvantaged people being taken advantage of by people of greater advantages, and you’ve got a shitload of hateful bullets to start firing all over the internet.
What better way to take “facts”, than from a business who uses shock and fear to get eyeballs on their advertiser’s crappy promotions?
What’s also really important is to ensure that you take on the victim persona. You can’t become an all-pro hater by taking responsibility for your current circumstances. Watching TV will help solidify your victim mentality, thus giving you no hope of ever having to go through anything uncomfortable and new to better yourself.
Personal responsibility is to a hater, like kryptonite is to Superman. Stay the fuck away from it and ALWAYS blame someone or something else for your problems.
Okay, those few points should definitely turn you into a hateful little shit-dick in a very short time. Now that the psychology aspect is away and cooking, it’s time to work on your strategy.
THE STRATEGY OF A HATER.
Once you have the right mindset, the rest is simple.
The internet is a hater’s wet dream. You can leave anonymous comments just about anywhere, and you can argue with douchebags literally forever. Also, it’s very unlikely that you’ll get sued, you can find inspiration from the abundance of other haters, and you can block and hide from people in an emergency.
Some great places to start:
- Facebook (duh).
- Popular Blogs.
What is important is that you pick a busy place. You want to make sure that you negatively impact as many people as possible, and you aren’t going to do shit on some piss-weak little blog. (That’s not to say you shouldn’t leave a little snarky comment on a piss-weak little blog about how piss-weak it truly is.)
Go for big air when you’re trying to rustle people’s feathers, and you can do that on a big site. Ensure that you are overly cynical on everything – if it “feels” like a scam, it definitely is one. Question everyone’s motivators, hopes, dreams and knowledge with a permanently embedded “glass-half-empty” mindset. Always focus on the downside, and use it as a weapon in every sentence.
The internet is a hater’s playground, so make sure you fuck shit up. With nothing better to do with your life, you’re going to become the best – I believe in you.
- Seek to be right, rather than better.
- Your grammar should be utterly horrific.
- Sarcasm is difficult to convey over text, outright abuse works better online.
- If someone bites – You’ve found a “hot spot” or an insecurity. Keep poking that wound until they have to rethink their life.
- If in doubt, yes, their mother is a whore.
Offline is a difficult one. It is hard to communicate with other human beings from the loneliness of your basement, but hey – JUST IN CASE you have friends, I thought I’d give you some bonus material.
As you are most likely a whiny little pussy, you can’t act tough in real life. Let’s face it, even after you got your ass kicked in school all those times, you still can’t fight to save your worthless life. This is why offline needs a more “covert” approach.
In the odd chance that you have friends already (or you somehow make one on the daily trip to McDonald’s or you befriend the Pizza delivery guy), you want to make sure that you fuck their life up, too. Now, an effective technique is something I just made up – It’s called the TROJAN HORSE HATE TECHNIQUE.
What you want to do, is befriend someone who has goals and aspirations. You then build up their trust, and then quietly and passive-aggressively fuck their life up. You can secretly slash their tires before having to leave for a job interview, get them drunk AF before they have to go to work or even just get them hooked on Heroin. If that is outside of your energy levels, you can work on their belief systems with conversations over the phone and sabotage their efforts in becoming better than you. Remember, it’s your duty as a hater to tear people down and destroy their will to live, you know, just like your uncle did when he touched your pee-pee.
- If you can sound empathetic while also destroying someone’s hopes and dreams, you’ll be very successful.
- Remind people that we’re all going to die anyway.
- Somehow get someone to have sex with you, knock her up, and then have a shitty kid to continue your legacy long after you die from diabetes.
Becoming a world-class hater is an art form when you reach pro. But the few key areas you need to remember on your journey to the top are summarised here:
- Keep the hope at bay. No, you will never amount to shit as a hater.
- Fill your mind with shit. (TV, News, Kardashians etc.)
- Eat crappy food. Never exercise. Fuck your body up.
- Hate yourself more than anything, but never admit it, and make it everyone else’s fault.
- Persistence will pay off. Keep at it and you’ll derail a lot of people to become better versions of themselves. Then you can feel good for a second or two. (Probably not).
The journey to be a hater is a lot easier than trying to be successful. All it takes is a bit of self-loathing, running from your problems (obviously, not actual running – lol), and fulfilling your need of attention by tearing others down. It’s a lonely road, but hey – I guess not everyone has the guts or the desire to live a life of happiness. With this guide, you too can be a hateful hunk of shit that infects the world. But if you can’t do it, I suggest you do the opposite.