Men are absolutely horrific at reading Women and being able to tell if she really wants him. And Women are absolutely useless at communicating their wants. Still to this day, my girlfriend gets the shits with me because I can’t read her mind or her so-subtle-that-she-isn’t-communicating-anything indications that she wants something.
Men communicate differently. If we want something, we say something. Women, on the other hand, sub-communicate their needs in a way that is often so encrypted, not even Alan Turing (Who decrypted the enigma code which ultimately won WW2) could figure out just what the crap she’s on about.
But here’s the thing. Women (as a whole) aren’t changing their natural ways anytime soon. So instead of complaining about how you can’t read their subtle hints to tell if she really wants you, let’s just get better at it reading them, shall we?
I thought it necessary to add here, that strippers, barmaids or anyone who will get tips or be financially remunerated by flirting, playing and showing interest are only doing it for the dollar-dollar-bill, y’all.
A little while ago I wrote an article called “What On Earth Is She On About?” it talks about how women communicate differently than us Men. If you understand the underlying principles, it helps you decipher what she actually means, regardless of what she says.
But that sort of thing is more important to you when you’re actually in a relationship with her. This is deeper in the trenches of a relationship. But what about when you’ve just met her and have no freaking clue if she likes you or not?
How to Tell If She Really Wants You
This is me assuming that the female in question has some social intelligence. Some girls are so timid, quiet, shut-off, awkward, and lack self-awareness that not even she knows if she’s interested. I am also not going to be discussing the indications of online dating (as online dating sucks) and if you want to meet someone who isn’t socially inept, it’s best just to avoid that marketplace like a plague of locusts with herpes.
It’s All About The Eyes.
Think about this: If you’re out at a club and there is some drunken asshole death-staring you to try and drag you into an altercation, you aren’t going to be looking back at him. You’ll be looking elsewhere and hoping that he gives up and goes and finds someone else to pick on. If you wanted to stir the pot and show him how good you are at punching, kicking and elbowing, you’d be staring right back at him awaiting the inevitable confrontation.
It’s the same in the world of dating: Her eyes are the biggest giveaway. If she’s looking at you with long eye contact, she wants you to confront her. She wants to meet you. Women aren’t obvious like us Men – They suggest. And with that extended eye contact, she’s suggesting you get your ass over there and say hi. Maybe open up the conversation with the opener in my last article. She will look away, look back, and look away again. You’ll keep catching each other out. You might also notice her friends looking at you, talking to each other, and then looking back at you. This is as obvious as it gets.
If you are out on a date, or it’s going well with the Girl you just walked over and met, once again – It’s all in the eyes. If her eyes are locked on yours, looking relaxed and seductive, you need to kiss her.
In this situation, she’s most likely also playing with her hair, touching you a lot, laughing at your shitty jokes and biting her lip.
What I find, is that more often than not, the younger girls (around 18-24) are more likely to exhibit that soft, doe-eyed look much sooner. The older the Woman, the more of us Men she has had to deal with, so reading her eyes won’t be as easy as her younger counterpart. That’s not to say her eyes won’t show it – they will – but you’ll just need to work harder and building an emotional connection with her.
Action Speak Louder Than Words. Always.
It’s almost easier to tell you how to notice if she isn’t interested in you. She won’t text back, or will take ages to reply. Things will come up at the last minute. She “is really busy” this week AND next week. “Oh gosh, I’ll just have to check my schedule” and blah…blah…blah. She might not even be fully aware that she’s not all that into you, but if her behaviour shows that there are other things that are more important, I wouldn’t make her a priority and I’d go and meet other people.
If she is standing near you, touching you, talking to you, following you, cancelling plans to hang out with you – she’s interested.
She will not throw herself at you, nor will she make obvious moves. What she will do is subtly leave herself “open” for you to be a Male and demonstrate your interest by the way of whatever you deem necessary. It really isn’t rocket surgery.
Assume Yes Until You Get A No.
Always assume it’s on until she says it’s not on. Assume that she is interested. Don’t wait for her to make it obvious, as this demonstrates that you aren’t that much of an Alpha-Male and she will eventually go and find a Male who has the guts to be vulnerable and honestly demonstrate his natural interest.
Even if she isn’t all that interested, just assume she is. This will bring on an air of confidence that might help her change her mind. Put it this way, you have a better chance of changing her mind by assuming she’s at least a little bit interested, than just being a dope and assuming that she isn’t. The latter will cause you to exhibit behaviour that definitely won’t get anyone interested in you.
Go Until You Get A No – Then Back Off A Bit.
A man’s job is to pursue, a woman’s job is to say no… not yet. If you’re coming off “kinda rapey” you’ll know about this well before it is even an issue – unless you’re socially retarded. Then you need to learn about social intelligence well before you can even think of approaching a Woman. She might not be ready, it might not be the right environment and she might just not be that into you – yet.
Just assume she is interested and play the flirt game. Let her know you’re interested and play around with her. Make it fun. Ask her about her passions, and what she loves doing. Find out about how she felt on the day she graduated from University, or when she felt loved or got to cuddle a puppy. Those thoughts bring back memories that bring on emotions and release hormones that will increase those good vibes. She wants you to want her, but she wants it to be right. So filling her up with good emotions and memories will aid this.
In all honesty, if she’s not showing that she is disinterested, it is most likely safe to assume that she is interested. Just go in for the kiss. Don’t ask for permission, just go for it. If she say’s no, or backs away, it simply means “not now”. This might be because the place you are in might not be right, or you haven’t built up enough chemistry. The best way to find out is to go for it anyway.
Every Woman is different, but all female Humans exhibit the same behaviours that demonstrate interest. It really isn’t that hard, but what makes it hard is you need to be willing to act with uncertainty and be vulnerable. You have to try, and the downside to that is you can be rejected. If you want to be successful with dating you need to learn to act despite those feelings and that potential rejection.