“Psycho” is a broad, and somewhat negative term used when describing an excessively “enthusiastic” and “passionate” person. But this person also lacks personal restraint, emotional and social intelligence to varying degrees, and therefore, overall they miss out on that whole “logic” thing.
Think: A trainwreck in human form.
As fun as it is to watch these train wrecks unfold from the safety of distance (and maybe a Perspex barrier), dating these train wrecks is a different story. Speaking from personal experience, having female partner(s) who:
- Attempt Suicide
- Try and drive their cars through my house
- Fake Cancer
- Fake pregnancies
- Cause unnecessary drama (to say the least)
Is not something that causes you to wake up every day saying “fuck yeah!”
It is always a particular type of guy that seems to “pick” these winners among us. He may think that all girls are crazy (and they are “different” to us Men), however, please note the following emboldened text for your learning convenience:
IF YOU THINK EVERY GIRL IS A PSYCHO, THEN YOU’RE THE PROBLEM – NOT THEM.
I’m going to go out on a limb here and make some assumptions.
You’re a nice guy. Kind. Friendly. Cool.
You’ve got some close friends that you’ve had for quite a while. Your closest friend is possibly pretty headstrong and “Alpha Male”.
You do okay with Women when you’re single, but you seem to lock in the “overt” ones.
You know, the girls who make a big thing over nothing, and seem to be a magnet for drama and bullshit. Maybe they become a pain in the ass when they go drinking and you don’t want to be around them? Maybe they’ve had a lot of bad exes, or a traumatic upbringing (or both)? Maybe she’s the one who sends too many text messages, and is an emotional rollercoaster? Maybe, she doesn’t have too many long-term friends and she was the one that chased you down and made all the moves? I bet the sex is fucking amazing, though.
How did I do?
I probably nailed it. I’ll tell you why.
Everyone has insecurities. We all have baggage from our past that we aren’t too confident about. Regardless of how big or small they actually are, they seem really big to us. But our insecurities aren’t the issue here – it is how we deal with it that counts.
There are 3 ways we deal with our insecurities:
We avoid them like the plague. Or;
We overcompensate. Or;
We accept them and own that shit.
You (and I) are Avoidants. We avoid uncomfortable things – like confrontation, emotions, rejection and just about everything that has a potential downside.
Our exes are the over-compensators. Also known as the anxious type. These are the fire starters, the drama queens, the ones who overcompensate on their insecurities to unconsciously try to overcome them.
You run away. She runs towards. (That’s why she probably instigated the whole relationship). This creates a highly charged emotional relationship – and it is 100% toxic.
This is how it goes:
She lights a (metaphorical) fire.
You, who wants to avoid your insecurity (Being alone, feeling not good enough, having to meet new people and feeling uncomfortable etc.), feel like you need to “save” her, and so you put out the fire.
She now feels rewarded for starting the fire. She then throws herself at you and gives you so much love, sex and happy times, that you now feel rewarded for fixing her bullshit.
Then she lights another fire and the cycle continues.
Eventually, in an emotional whirlwind of drama, sex, continual-change-of-Facebook-relationship-status’ and the loss of friends – You two finally end it.
Then you remain single, vow that every woman is a psycho annnnnnddd here you are reading this article.
Understand that you are an AVOIDANT attachment type. You avoid your insecurities like the plague and, therefore, you need to make a conscious effort to step up to the plate and be more assertive. Own those insecurities, accept their presence and deal with the shit that makes you uncomfortable head on.
If you do that enough, you will become what is known as the “Secure” attachment type.
This guy owns his flaws, gives more value to his own opinion than he does others and he deals with the inevitable negatives of life head on – Like a Man. He also dates the High-Quality Women, has a High-Quality Life and is a hell of a lot happier than you. He has his own flaws, he just accepts them and deals with them healthily.