“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.” – Mark Twain
It was June 2011 and I had just discharged from the Navy. After 7.5 years of some great experiences mixed in with an abundance of bad ones, I had finally managed to get the hell out of a job that I didn’t particularly enjoy the majority of the time. To make things sweeter, I had lined up a pretty decent job. The new job started within a few weeks, paid a good wage, but had me out in the red dirt of the mines of Western Australia. Seems like a pretty big win, right?
For most people, yes. I basically walked into a role where I get paid well and have an even Fly-In-Fly-Out (FIFO) roster. For most people, that is a goddamn hole-in-one. For me, who tends to opt for the opposite, it was a nightmare.
It was a large mining company in the middle of a massive mining boom – so it was pretty well secure. All I had to do was not be a complete retard, and I’d be certain to get paid well, climb the ranks, and get paid even more. I’d be crazy to turn that down, right?
So anyway, in my usual form, I gave the recruiter a call and told her that I WON’T be taking that job. My parents weren’t too impressed, to say the least.
So, what did I do instead? Well, I packed up my shit and moved 4000km’s to Brisbane, on the east coast of Australia. I knew a total of 3 people, which is exactly what I wanted.
You see, while most people seek certainty from a job they know they can do, I just wanted to get away from it all, to do the opposite. Roles like that can come and go. I could easily get that job (or something similar) again, but an opportunity to grow myself and become the person I wish I was, was something that doesn’t come around very often.
So, I followed my dreams. I became a Personal Trainer (PT), started my own business, and studied nutrition. I was pushed outside of my comfort zone constantly and had to make new friends. One of the reasons I left Perth was because I was just sick of the people I was hanging around with. Some were great, but the majority of them were on a completely different path than I wanted to go on. You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with, and I didn’t want to become those people, so I moved.
I put myself into a different environment with different people who were more in alignment with where I wanted to go. In this regard, it was a massive success. I grew a lot as a person – build an outstanding body, developed more confidence, became a better PT, learned a tonne about business, and created some amazing friends on the ride.
But it wasn’t all rainbows and flowers – it was extremely difficult.
My “business” was a complete failure. Turns out, starting a business isn’t as easy as what most people think. I had to work 2 jobs to make ends meet, I missed my family and some big events with my friends lives back home. But in those struggles, I learned so much. And even though I was never completely self-sufficient and self-employed, I still learned lessons that set me up for greater successes later on in life.
It’s the big picture that motivates me. I am always thinking about the long-term ramifications of my choices. Getting a “stable job” bores me to death, simply because I know the journey already – sign in, do the work, deal with the politics, go home, get paid, and repeat until death.
There is nothing else in that monotony. I would much rather shit in my hands and clap.
Sure, the money would be great, but I’d rather the satisfaction of building my own thing and reaping the fruits from that. It would be much more fulfilling and secure as all the responsibility lies with me, instead of some dickhead in a tie who cares more about his own bonus than your livelihood.
This is the opposite of most. This is why I continue to make seemingly “bad decisions” in the short term, effectively making myself eat shit, to set myself up for an overwhelmingly large win in the long term.
Am I a super successful millionaire with a sick car, nice watch and pussy falling out of my pockets? Hell nah. But my commitment to the process puts me closer to that than anyone else who doesn’t have the stomach to eat shit for as long as it takes, so he can eat caviar for the rest of his life. I am simply just not there yet, but I am closer than I was yesterday.
This is the opposite of most people. The overwhelming majority are a scared bunch. They think a job is “secure” – when you can easily be let go of. They think the mainstream media is great, when it is simply toxic bullshit designed to make you click on their condescending advertisers. They think that they’re “too good” to seek help and actually learn how to be a success with women, yet they’re lonely, sad, disempowered and lack confidence.
- Are afraid of asking for help.
- Hate their job.
- Are unnecessarily insecure.
- Eat like shit.
- Don’t exercise.
- Wonder why they’re so “depressed”.
- Complain about their situations, and do nothing about it.
- Never travel or put themselves in challenging environments to grow.
- Seek short-term pleasure, over long-term happiness.
- Bullshit to themselves (and others) to try and cover up their dumb decisions.
And what do they get for this? More of the same shit. Yee-fucken-ha!
What do they think is going to happen? You eat like shit, don’t exercise, never put yourself anywhere near the boundary of your comfort zone, and you think you’re going to win the lottery? What fucking planet are these morons on? What, they think that they’re the ones who will get something different by doing the exact same fucking thing over and over until they die? What sort of existence is that?
It’s insanity! Doing the same thing over and over again, yet expecting a different result is literally the definition of insanity.
We (you and I) know that the path of most people is doomed for failure. These aren’t forward thinkers, these are people just trying to survive. Just trying to white-knuckle it through the next 80 years of their lives, while wishing they had it better. Then bitching, moaning and complaining about meaningless shit to take their mind off of their pathetic and meaningless existence.
But while it is fun to point the finger and say “lol look at this bunch of idiots”, it’s important to stop and take a look at yourself in the mirror. Because bitching about others doesn’t make yourself better, it makes you just as insufferable.
While it is easy to point the finger at people and call them sheep, look at your hand and you’ll notice there are 3 fingers pointing back at you.
I catch myself every now and then pointing out what is wrong with someone, then having to remind myself of the emboldened fact above. Judging people is easy, but objectively looking at yourself and assessing how much bullshit you are full of, separates the sheep from the wolves. Anyone can judge, but it takes an anomaly to reflect on themselves and make the changes. Without this habit, you are simply just another sheep completely full of shit.
BE AN ANOMOLY
“If you want to be an anomaly, you have to act like one” – Gary Vaynerchuk.
When most people go right, I turn left. Always have.
In 2010 just about everyone I knew had gone to Europe to do a Contiki tour of some sort. I didn’t know anyone that had been to Mexico, so I went to Cancun during spring break.
In 2015 I moved from Australia to Toronto, Canada. I could have been like every other Aussie and moved to Whistler or Banff, but instead I wanted to get away from every single aussie dickhead who travels, and put myself deep in the trenches of a brand new country with next to no Australians. Everyone else was settling down and buying a house, I had sold my house years before, owned an actual business, then decided to move away again. It was the best year of my life. Everyone was saying “Man, I wish I could do that!” but they didn’t do anything about it. Now they’re still stuck doing the same old shit.
I bought my own house at the age of 19. Everyone else went and bought a car.
I’ve never wanted to be like everyone else. I’ve always leaned into separating myself from the herd, and carving a life that is different and meaningful for me. In my parent’s eyes, the best thing I could ever do with my life is get a high-paying job in the mines. But why cap myself at earning only $125-250K? Yes, that’s a hell of a lot of money, but it’s not just the money that matters, it’s how you make it. And with my current path with Honest Casanova, there is no ceiling as to how much money I can make OR how much of a positive effect I can have on the lives I touch. But I have to eat shit for the next 10 years to build the underlying asset.
If I was to place myself in another environment like the Navy (which let’s face it, any large company is like it), I know for a fact I wouldn’t be a happy camper. I would rather put shards of glass in my asshole and sit in a tub of Tabasco sauce than put myself through that corporate wankery again.
But that’s just me.
To be an anomaly, you must go against the grain. I don’t mean you should rob a bank, sell heroin and drive on the wrong side of the road, I mean when everyone is opting for the “safe career” you should go for the passion project – or even better, do both.
When most men won’t ask for help because their dumb ego wants to protect itself from acknowledging how much they suck with women, do the opposite and ask for help. When everyone else thinks going out and getting drunk is the epitome of life and the key to happiness, go and do the opposite. When most men are too chicken shit to talk to the hot blonde, take a deep breath and go and do the opposite of what they would do. You will be crowned a king.
There is something powerful about being a non-conformist and someone who doesn’t give a fuck about the opinion of the herd. And I don’t mean you should act like those judgmental and pretentious hipster cock-heads (they care about other people’s options more than they care about what hops are in the IPA they’re drinking), but you should be willing to carve your own path and separate yourself from the crowd.
BUT…IT DOESN’T ALWAYS “WORK OUT”.
Earlier, I mentioned that I bought my own house at 19. I separated myself from the people that I knew who bought cars instead of investing their hard earned money.
The house was actually a bad idea.
You see, I bought that place at the peak of the housing boom in Western Australia. I spent WAY too much money on it, couldn’t comfortably afford the mortgage, and sold it for way too little. It was a complete fuck up on my behalf.
But while I tried to separate myself from the crowd of people wasting their money on cars, I joined in on the group who snapped up houses for way too much, which pushed the prices up farther, then to only have the economy crash soon afterwards. I was conforming to the crowd of ill-informed investors – I should have conformed to the rare few who had pulled their money out of property years ago, because they actually knew what the fuck they were doing.
This is precisely why I won’t be buying any bitcoin any time soon. I’ll wait for this bubble to pop and look at snapping up some under-priced deals after the shit-storm. If everyone is doing it, it’s a bad idea. And I wouldn’t know this fact unless I had stupidly purchased a house at the top of the boom.
Short term, I lost money. Long term I have learned skills from experience that I can (and will) apply at the right time.
Most people think this is the path to success: Go to school, get good grades, go to university, get a decent job, get a house with a white-picket fence, settle down, have 1.2 kids and THEN YOU CAN BE HAPPY.
I know way too many people like this that look happy on paper, but are fucking miserable. They’ve been chasing the white dragon their entire lives, to only have a mid-life crisis so big that they are ashamed of the path they thought would make them happy.
The guy who did everything by the book, then his wife cheats on him, takes all the cash and won’t let him see the kids.
The woman who got married early to a “good man”, had kids, didn’t travel and now is bored out of her brain because she didn’t get drunk and get fucked by half a footy team when she was in her early twenties.
Or the guy who settled for what woman he could get at the time, is now this repressed sex pest who really just wanted to be able to express himself sexually in his early twenties and root a heap of ladies. Instead he’s miserable and has to watch fucked up porn to get a load off because his sex life with his wife is non-existent.
All of these people thought they were doing the right thing by fitting into the norm, when in actuality it’s just sucked them into a miserable existence where they fantasise about what could have been.
WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN
I would rather try and fail than never try at all. Because then you’re always wondering what if? You add up enough what if’s, you’re in for one hell of an over-compensating midlife crisis.
I wrote this to inspire you to take the path less travelled. To be a rebel. To go against the grain.
You can always fail at doing something you love, then go back to doing the same as everybody else. The same path as everyone else might seem safer, but you are seriously capping your happiness at a 5. I’d much rather go do something off the beaten path to potentially set myself up for a happiness of 10. Fail enough in the short term by doing the right things, then you will most certainly win in the long term.
The only true failure in life is being on your death bed wondering “What could have been?”, instead of lying there and telling the stories behind your scars.