When it comes to dating, finding someone who is a match for you can be really tough. I know this for a fact because I used to be the guy who seemed to have a knack for attracting all the wrong women into my life.
You know the really nice guy, who allows girls to walk all over him so they can get what they want? The quiet guy with the knack for allowing the psycho’s into his life, then let them set up shop, light social fires then go out of his way to try and help them out?
Well, that used to be me.
To cut a long story short, I eventually figured out that I was making a lot of mistakes. I figured out what those mistakes were, solved them, and ended up with infinitely better women around me.
There were 6 big mistakes that I was making. Let’s discuss what they are.
Mistake 1: You Aren’t Living Your Life Purpose.
If you do what you love, you will find your love. An overwhelming majority of men lack a purpose, a mission or an idea on their big picture. They are stagnant in life. They are merely existing, rather than honing in on doing what they really want to do in life. You don’t have to be Elon Musk and go out to change the world (Or in Elon’s case, colonize Mars) but you do need to have clarity on what you want out of life and be steering your entire life towards it. You know what drives a woman wild? A man on his mission. And if you are doing what is meaningful to YOU, you will find the Woman who shares this vision. Then you can both steer your lives together toward that vision. Not knowing who you really are, what you stand for and what you are doing with your life is the BIGGEST mistake men make. Without this, the rest of the mistakes below are inevitable.
Mistake 2: You Don’t Know Who She Is.
If a business goes out to serve everyone, it ends up serving no one and it quickly goes out of business. Some of the most successful businesses in the world go out to serve ONE problem for ONE type of person. This is called having a niche, and without having a niche or knowing who your target customer is, you are DOOMED in business.
Who is your type? Who is your DREAM GIRL? Who is she as a person? What does she do for a living? What traits does she have?
Without clearly defining who she is as a person, you are setting yourself up for bad dates with girls who don’t get you for you. There is a process that I take men through in all of my programs to help them define who their ideal Woman is. It is only when we figure this out, that we can solve the rest of the mistakes below.
Mistake 3: You Rely On Luck.
If you’re waiting for that magical Hollywood moment where you accidentally run into her in a coffee shop, then wake up because this is the real world. Sure, it does happen. But it is extremely unlikely that it is going to happen. Being a man who knows what he wants out of life now, wouldn’t you want the best odds and know exactly where to find your ideal type of girl?
Mistake 4: You Look In All The Wrong Places.
It makes no sense for a 30-year-old businessman who hates nightclubs to go to a nightclub to find a girl he likes. His ideal Woman isn’t going to be found there. She is going to found at business networking meetings or seminars. If he wants a younger girl who loves to drink and party then, of course, he should try nightclubs (or other places where his ideal woman is going to be). It amazes me a number of men who go to places they hate to meet girls and complain about the girls that they meet.
Now that you know who she is, you will have a much better idea of where you can find her.
Mistake 5: You Don’t Put Yourself Out There.
When a business has defined who their target customer is, the next step is to MARKET ITSELF to that type of person. Gents, you need to get out there and start interacting with your clearly defined ideal Girl. This means opening up conversations with anyone who you think might be a fit, learning how to open her up emotionally so you can find out who she really is, and then moving her onto a coffee date or dinner so you can find out more.
There is an art to doing this and any man can learn how to do it, which is precisely what I teach in the 7 Day Dating Challenge.
Mistake 6: You Have False Beliefs That Hold You Back.
False beliefs are a double-edged sword. When we believe that to get women you have to be a ripped fitness model with a thick dick and an even thicker wallet, our brain will look for situations that support these unconscious beliefs. This is called a confirmation bias, and it completely overlooks and ignores the fugly dude with the hot missus (as it disproves his beliefs). So, having these beliefs that don’t serve us, ends up making them true in our mind.
Recently, I created a video about the TRUTH of Attraction. I broke apart common misconceptions about attraction and backed it up with all sorts of facts. But, as expected, I had some guy comment with a link to a 20-minutes-of-wasted-life video, that had people validating other people purely on the looks (which conveniently validated his belief that you have to be really really really ridiculously good-looking).
Do people judge people on their looks? Yes. Of course, we do. Look at the online dating apps Tinder and Bumble. It’s literally everyone swiping people based on their looks, and completely ignoring what they’re all about as a person.
But looks count for nowhere as much as what you think. I know from experience that looks fade, and having dated some extremely beautiful women in the past, most of them were complete fucking idiots and never got a second or third date with me. Yes, being attractive will get you more dates, but if you suck as a human being you’ll find yourself lonely and sad.
But having more positive beliefs can make it true as well. This is the other edge of the sword. If you see the world objectively for how it is, you’ll understand how any man can make himself more physically and sexually attractive to the type of girl that he seeks. But most men will conveniently make excuses, and validate these excuses with what their brain looks for, in order for them to not have to do anything except complain about something outside of their control. This is called being a victim, and nothing dries up a vagina quicker than some guy being a little MGTOW crybaby.
I’ve written a big ol’ article on false beliefs that stop you from getting laid (and talked about it on this podcast episode), so check it out if you wanna go deeper.
These 6 common mistakes are fixable, and once they’re fixed you open yourself up to a massive opportunity of being able to date higher-quality women but also living an infinitely better and more confident life.
Join the 7 Day Dating Challenge, and make the right decisions (instead of the wrong ones).