In relationships, the Law of Attraction isn’t a magical, mystical, fancy-pants mating dance that somehow beckons beautiful Women to throw themselves at you. It is a law – much the same as gravity – but it isn’t what you think it would be.
Mainstream media and other deceptive forms of advertising will often try and sell you on the thought that you can just sit at home and “manifest” or “pray” that you’ll attract someone amazing into your life, without ever having to leave the comfort of your own home. (Maybe the pizza delivery guy/girl is a little bit cute?). Yeah, it sounds nice, but it’s bullshit.
There is a relatively well-known movie all about “manifesting success”, and I could bitch about it all day, but Mark Manson reflected my thoughts perfectly on his post The Staggering Bullshit Of The Secret.
As a dating coach, a common complaint that I receive is that there is a lack of decent Women out in the world today.
My response to this false statement is always: “No, there is a lack of decent Women in YOUR World – Not everyone else’s.”
My honest response is always met with frustration, however, if you want to upgrade your dating life you better read this article all the way to the end.
Let’s get one thing straight: You and only YOU are responsible for the people you allow into your life.
Therefore, if you’re surrounded by duds or are struggling to find decent Women, THAT’S YOUR FAULT.
And you know why it is your fault?
It is because you are a dud, too. (But not for longer – I promise!)
The reason I can make such a bold and oftentimes painful statement (and also get away with calling you a “dud”), is because I have walked in these shoes before. I have dated girls who were not a good fit for me at all, and yes, it was ALL MY FAULT. I allowed them into my life, I let them walk all over me, and what I eventually discovered was that it was the mindset with which I pursued my relationships that determined the calibre of person that I ended up with.
This Is How The Law Of Attraction Panned Out For Me.
I was a nice guy, and relatively quiet. I would show off my full personality around the safety of my close friends, but in the world of (sober) dating, I was way too reserved. I would show interest in girls from a protective stance, so basically I would be so subtle with demonstrating my interest in a girl that most times they had no idea I was even interested. Instead of being vulnerable and saying what I wanted to say, I was so afraid of being rejected that I would put up walls around me that would prevent any form of a negative experience affecting me. Now because of these walls, I couldn’t demonstrate my true intentions. So saying something as simple as “Hey, I just noticed you and thought you looked really cute, so I just wanted to meet you”, would never happen because I was so afraid of her saying no. I also made the assumption before even meeting her that she would say no, because the mindset I had when pursuing girls was a negative one.
Because I would play hard to get, and confuse Women with my “interested-but-disinterested” behaviours, the only girls that I would date were the ones who were so insecure that they would relentlessly chase me down to win me over.
Being chased down by a gorgeous girl sounds like a great thing, and for a short moment, it is. But then their baggage and insecurities that caused them to be relentless at proving to themselves that they can win over a hard-to-get Guy starts to affect your life in a bad way. This is the beginning of a toxic relationship, and you can read more about how this dynamic works in the article “Why Every Girl You Date Is A Psycho”.
I was scared of being hurt. I was scared of being confronted with the possibility of my inadequacy as a Man who can’t seduce a Woman that he desires. I was fearful of potentially being attacked by her boyfriend (if she actually had one), I was scared of her slapping me and embarrassing me and I was afraid that she might say that I am ugly or bring light to something else about me that I just cannot change.
I was afraid. I was fearful. I was focused on everything that could go wrong, instead of focusing on What Could Go Right.
That negative mindset was the sole reason why I ended up avoiding being vulnerable at all costs, and the flow on effect from this was sub-optimal results in my selection of Women. This then caused me to feel even more negative about dating, relationships and the apparent bad state of the Female human species.
But I never knew this was happening to me. That is just how I saw the world, and I didn’t have the ability to see the world from other people’s perspectives. It was only until I started working with a Coach that I came to discover the exact reason why the world of dating looked so bleak for me. Working with a coach is the fastest way to get the results you are looking for because we just can’t see our own blind spots. Doing it alone takes a lot of time, serious self-awareness and deep introspection. Most people don’t have the time or are too busy putting out the fires of life to even want to be able to reflect on their own thought processes, and objectively look at the world as they see it, and reflect on why they see it that way. This is why I am so passionate about what I do because I was once a sceptic about that whole “life coaching thing”, but when I took a chance it changed my entire life and I am forever grateful to my mentors. You can book a Free Dating Strategy Session with me at this link HERE to help find out what is holding you back from getting all of those beautiful Women.
Make The Law Of Attraction Work For You.
Here’s some quick questions: Would you date you?
If there was a female version of you, who had the same positive and negative traits as you, would you date her?
What sort of person do you need to become to get that dream girl you are after? Because if you were that guy already, you’d have her in your arms right now.
The truth is we all have areas of our lives that we need to grow. And when you start plugging those holes and stopping those leaks, you’ll “upgrade your life” and upgrade your dating circle. There truly is a huge abundance of amazing human beings out there, it’s just that you aren’t doing the things you need to be doing to deserve them – Yet.
The law of attraction doesn’t work in the magical way that we are sold on the TV. It is your thoughts that influence your actions, which determine your results. It all starts with that brain of yours, and by all means you can think about your thoughts and change the results (which takes a long time), or you can work with someone to get an even better result, fast.