We have all been there before. You have been doing so well with a girl, and you’re quietly confident that it’s a sure thing she’s going home with you. Okay, maybe you’re not so quietly confident – you’re outright certain it’s a sure thing. You’re oozing with confidence and certainty, and you’re walking the tightrope between being a cocky, confident, and funny gent, and a cocky, over-confident douchebag.
But then, something happens. Maybe her friend cockblocks you and drags her away. Maybe a cooler dude swoops in and whisks her away from your clutches. Maybe your overconfidence and cocky-cockheadedness put a glimmer of doubt in her mind about you. Or maybe you just self-sabotage due to some sort of insecurity hidden beneath the surface…
Reasons aside, you’ve just dropped a goddamn sitter.
For those who aren’t up to date with Aussie lingo around sporting events, “dropping a sitter” refers to dropping an easy catch. You’re literally in the goal square, alone and completely uncontested. The ball is coming down, there is no wind around and not a drop of rain for days. This is an easy catch. You’d have to have holes in your hand like Jesus-Fucking-Christ to drop this goddamn thing. It’s literally being handed to you on a silver platter.
The ball comes down, it couldn’t be floating down any more perfect. It’s like a gift from whatever made up god you want to believe in…
But then, for one reason or another, you drop it. The opposing team is on you like a fat kid on a block of chocolate. Your moment is over.
You dropped a goddamn sitter.
I have had many nights where I thought going home with a sexy brindie was a sure thing. But then, I somehow fuck it up. The rug gets pulled out from underneath, and you’re left going home with your dick in your own hand instead of hers.
It sucks, but it happens to all of us.
I’ve had good nights go really bad, but on the flip side, I’ve also had bad nights go really, really, well.
One night out, I just wasn’t feeling it. I had been in my head all night, was getting rejected like a salmonella-riddled piece of chicken gets rejected from your body, and was close to calling it a night. Feeling completely overwhelmed, I put myself in a timeout and went and sat down in a corner to get myself straight. Suddenly, a pretty, young lady sat near me, we started talking, and 20 minutes later we’re making out on the sidewalk while she’s aggressively ramming her fingers down her pants and putting them into my mouth. What a delicious treat!
It’s great when a bad night goes well, but what do you do when a great night goes bad?
Firstly, like my story above, it’s surprising how you can turn it all around. You’re already “warmed up” and socially calibrated for the night, due to the small amount of success you’ve had earlier on in the night. So it’s just a matter of talking to more girls and finding someone else that you click with.
But sometimes, you just aren’t feeling it anymore and you decide to head home and furiously masturbate over what you imagined to be happening, had she not bailed on your incompetent ass.
Before you lock your bedroom door and fire up your porn site of choice, take the time to reflect on your night out.
As much as I give the overwhelming douchebaggery of the pickup and “seduction” scene a blasting, pickup itself is an extremely important skill set to learn to empower yourself as a man.
It can be absolutely terrifying approaching an attractive woman, with the very high likelihood of a rejection. It takes balls, and most men just don’t have it in them to open a conversation with a sexy stranger, so they resort to getting drunk and letting their obnoxious alter-ego do the rest.
But pickup (with the right intentions), is a rewarding and empowering process for both men and the women they meet. When a guy goes from being a complete newbie to being a confident, strong and enthusiastic member of society, not only is his life infinitely better in all aspects, he inspires the people around him to do better and be better. He creates a safe space for people to be vulnerable, open and honest, to drop the social constructs and simply be themselves without the façade.
Getting better with women and becoming more confident in this area of life is a process, and you should be focusing purely on the process itself. Too often guys focus on the lay count and the immediate results. My philosophy is that if you focus on the process, the results come as a side effect. Focusing on the results get most men nowhere, as they’re so outcome dependent that they become a walking, talking, creepy and needy pest.
So when you go home alone, before you start beating it like it owes you money, review your night out and WRITE IT DOWN.
What went well? What did you do that was better than last time? Give yourself props for committing to the process, instead of beating yourself up for not getting an outcome.
What can you do better next time? If faced with the exact same situation again, what would you do differently?
You might have been tongue-punching some hottie at the bar, or you might have not even talked to one person. Maybe you were getting eye-fucked by some sexy girl for 17 minutes while she sat at the bar. Regardless of whether she pretty much had a sign on her head that said “APPROACH ME”, there is no benefit to beating yourself up about it and calling yourself a pussy.
Review your nights. Reflect on what was good and what was bad, then go out there at a future date and apply the lessons you learn. You’ll be infinitely better off from it, and you’ll grow your skills in this area a lot faster than the guy who doesn’t.
Yeah, you dropped a sitter. So what?
Shit happens. Learn from it, apply the lessons, don’t fuck it up again, and move onto your next stumbling block.
Dwelling on it doesn’t make it better, nor does it change it.
Learn – Apply – Do.
Then learn some more.
Life is about growth, and we are rewarded with the fruits of it as a side effect.
Go drop some sitters.
(Context of the image: The guy in the photo who “dropped a sitter” in spectacular fashion is a really good mate of mine and many other great guys. In true brotherly love, it’s important that this photo is never forgotten. 1 share = many LOL’s. Love you Matty XOXO)