We all know that dating is incredibly dishonest. You’ve got Jake not texting Jenny back for 3 days because he “doesn’t want to come across as too keen”, there’s Sally trying to “play it cool” so Glen doesn’t even realise that she really, really likes him, and then there’s Josh making some bad excuse to talk to the pretty girl at the counter – when in actuality he just thought she is super cute and he wanted to see if her personality matches her looks.
Just about everyone plays these games in dating, yet absolutely everyone is sick to death of people who play games.
Ironically, everyone then wonders why they attract the wrong people, have to put up with bad relationships, and have to satisfy their own sexual needs instead of having some beautiful young lady willingly do it for them.
SO WHY DO WE DO IT?
Games are played as a way to protect ourselves from any potential downsides, such as REJECTION and LOSS.
Jake is worried about being too needy and pushing Jenny away, therefore losing any chance he has with her. Sally is afraid Glen doesn’t feel the same way about her, so she holds back from being honest in case he says no. Josh doesn’t want the pretty girl on the counter to tell him to leave her alone, so he goes in “under the radar” pretending that he actually cares about the ladies perfume she’s selling.
What these people are doing is hedging their bets. They’re playing it “safe”. They’re trying to minimise any potential downsides, such as rejection and loss, by showing their interest from a disinterested frame.
But “playing it safe” is a terrible tactic.
WHAT YOU’RE MISSING OUT ON.
If you minimise your potential downside, you also minimise your upside.
If Jake didn’t try and play it cool, and simply texted Jenny and let her know he wants to hang out, she might be 100% keen and then they can have an amazing time together.
The same could happen if Sally was open and honest with Glen.
If Josh was straight up with the Girl at the counter, he might find that she thought the exact same thing and wants to grab his number then meet up for a beer later that afternoon.
These people would never experience these upsides if they kept playing it cool or playing it safe. It’s the same way that anyone who takes anti-depressants to avoid the depths of negative emotions also miss out on the upside of the emotions they enjoy – such as happiness and excitement. They’re an emotionless meat-popsicle walking around, simply existing but not actually living and experiencing the full spectrum of life.
STOPPING THE GAMES.
If you’ve read The Law Of Attraction, you’ll be fully aware that you get back what you put out. So if you play games you’ll find yourself attracting people who also play games. And if you find yourself attracting people who tend to play games, it’s because you yourself are playing games too – even unknowingly.
The key to attracting people who drop the rubbish and just be real is to start doing that yourself.
But that means being vulnerable – which is scary.
It also brings up a host of other problems, such as confronting where you lack in regards to the skills needed when it comes to attracting Women (because it’s not just about being upfront and honest).