I am currently sat at a coffee shop and there are 3.5 female staff that I would gladly “lay down by the fire” (the .5 is a two-drink minimum). But did I approach? No.
I flirted with one a bit on the counter as I ordered my coffee, but that was about it. I didn’t ask for a number. I didn’t push the interaction. I walked away, and instead of trying to get her interested in me, I sit here writing this.
There were also at least 4 sexy customers that I could have approached. I could have daygamed them and gotten their numbers. Maybe even fucked them. Who knows how far I could have pushed it. But I didn’t.
Earlier, as I was walking from my car, I saw two girls who I could also have approached. But, once again, I didn’t.
I could have made up some bullshit about doing it and getting an instant-date. No one could tell if I was lying or not. I could have made up some story about a horrific rejection and possibly inspire you with that. I could have gotten a photo of some random chick panties and posted it in my Facebook group. Guys would like it, I’d feel semi-validated and you would all think that I’m some sort of PUA pussy killer.
But I’m not. And I’m not going to pretend I am to get some extra likes or followers.
There are opportunities to meet women everywhere, but today, like most days, I just didn’t feel inclined. Does that make me a bad dating coach? Am I a fraud because I didn’t approach all those girls?
Maybe – to some.
I’d be classed as a fraud by the guys who are infatuated with the PUA’s and their “gameyness”. To the younger-minded gents who think getting laid is this magical “end zone” and the solution to their inadequacies as a man. Like a vagina is somehow going to solve all their problems.
Sure, you can go out and approach anyone and everything. The guys you approach lead to girls, and the girls you approach have vaginas. And if they won’t open them up from your needy persistence, you can go hunting for their friends as your insatiable hunger and semen leaks out of every pore as you chase them down the street.
If I was to approach every single woman like it was my job, it would be coming from a place of neediness, not something I feel inclined to do. I’m also 32, and while banging chicks is great fun, I’ve done my fair share of parking this dick in many different parking lots, if you know what I mean (FYI: Never park in the disabled spots).
I don’t have an issue approaching women I am truly compelled to approach. When I am truly compelled, I make my way over and what I have to say just comes out. I don’t have to engineer a line or think about what to say – I just say whatever comes out.
I don’t want to be running around chasing tail into my forties. I don’t want to be the old pickup guy. And right now, the last thing I want to do is to go out and cold approach some sexy young chicks to get yet another notch on the old belt. Been there, done that.
But that’s just the thing – I’ve been there and done that. And right now, in my life, women aren’t a priority.
After a weekend boot camp several months ago, we were all out celebrating the successful weekend, and I had a student ask me why I didn’t approach a certain girl. She was pretty interested, but to be honest, I didn’t give a shit. I had just spent 2.5 days teaching men the theory around dating and pickup, and coaching the practical elements, so I was exhausted and over the whole process. He was somewhat surprised when I told him that I don’t approach women all that much. He was under the false impression that once you get the skills of game you become this approach machine that seduces a different woman every night.
Then, recently, I had a conversation with a guy over skype who also thought that I’d be out chasing tail non-stop and living the playboy lifestyle – Like I’m a poor version of Dan Bilzerian. It’s just not something I want to spend the majority of my time doing right now, I’ve got better things to do than put my pickle in a lady’s ham sandwich.
But I know what I am doing. I have a tried and true track record. I’ve got the skills, the linez and the hackz to get girls if I truly want to – it’s why I am a coach. But right now, I CBF using them because I simply don’t want to invest time into getting a girlfriend or even dating some random girls. Sure, it’d be nice, but that would fuck with my current routine – and I’m okay with neglecting my dating life for now.
Attracting women is an area of my life that I have handled. It’s a skillset I have developed over time and now have it in my toolbox. I can turn it on and off when I want to. It’s like a cordless drill that I pull out when there are some screws to be thrust into a bit of wood – not something you carry around and show off while in the shower, the shops, or cinemas.
But there was a time when I wasn’t good with women. No, I was pretty fucking terrible, to say the least. So, in order to learn, I put in a tonne more effort.
It was back in those days where I forced myself to have more interactions. I put myself in social situations where I had to approach. I surrounded myself with men on the same mission. I expanded my skill set by taking massive action, getting outside of my comfort zone, and pushing every opportunity to the end.
If you’re happy with your dating life, you’ve won. You’ve got it nailed. If you aren’t, then you need to put in some effort.
I think every man should invest at least 3 months of his time into learning “game”. Learn the skills of meeting, seducing and dating women – from a professional. It’s why I coach, and it’s why my programs are all around 3 months. Once you learn the skills, it’s just a matter of keeping the sword sharp through semi-regular action.
That is when women should be your priority. When you’re LEARNING the processes involved to be able to confidently seduce them. But other than that, your life has more important things that require attention. Guys fall into the trap of chasing women like it’s the solution to everything, to only find out that it isn’t. So they chase more, and more, and more. They think they can fill the void with vaginas, when in actuality, they need to focus on and work on the rest of their lives.
I pride myself on being a dating coach that focuses hard on creating these epic men who go on to doing epic shit that they love. It’s not just about getting pussy – you’ll get that as a side effect of living an amazing life and being able to communicate with women in a way that they deem attractive. Game is such a small area of a man’s life – it’s necessary – but it’s just another piece to the puzzle.
If you feel lost, lack confidence, feel a lack of self-worth and inspiration, you need to contact me HERE and I’ll turn you into the man you want to be.